Saturday, July 26, 2014

an early birthday gift. . .

“Photography is a love affair with life.”~ Burk Uzzle 

Thanks boys. . .  thanks for supporting your mom's habit. Thanks for validating my passion and my creativity. Thanks for understanding and always smiling for me when I am in paparazzi mode. Thanks for your willingness to pose with me in windows and mirrors and water and sunglasses. Thanks for smiling big when I snuggle up to up to you and turn the lens on us both. Thanks for grasping just how important my camera is to me and putting up with this fervent drive and desire of mine. And thank you so much for the new 35mm lens. You guys rock. 

i love you tons, 

Thursday, July 24, 2014

thank you. . .

“I finished the [blog] post reflecting on the fact that, despite all the changes in my life, maybe I wasn't so different after all. If I typed it, maybe I could believe it, too.” ~  Stephanie Nielson

I am overwhelmed by all the comments and support I have received from all of you on my last last two post. Not only did you reach out on the blog, but I got a couple of phone calls and a personal message from an old friend on Facebook. Even the mister called this morning to tell me he loved me (he will be home tonight!). I felt like I had a bit of a pity party and then a surge of inspiration. So thank you to all of you who come here, thank you for all your kindness. 

Our kitchen did not see a lot of action this week. But I did saute up a bit of zucchini one night. I am one of those people who love zucchini; love it in any shape or form. If you want to try something absolutely amazing make this from Molly over at Orangette. Be sure to serve it with some really great bread and the mozzarella and feel free to eat it right out of the pan. If you are having a gathering or going to one, try this from Heidi over at 101 Cookbooks. Not only is is beautiful, but it is so, so good. 

There were a few nights of salads, mostly because I have been home alone. I did made soup one day, a delicious bean soup made with my last bag of Santa Maria Pinquitos from here, but I forgot to take photos. This salad is full of greens, blueberries, feta and topped with lemon roasted pepitas, which I get at our local farmers market. They are amazing on salads and also wonderful straight out of the bag. 

I have spent some time with this cookbook this week, which I checked out of our library. I am taken in more with the photos than anything else but have a few recipes marked to try. Not sure I would buy it however so it is nice to know the library has it. 

The blackberries are coming on and soon I will con the mister into helping me pick a bucket full for a pie or maybe some scones. There will be a few small bowls of freshly picked berries with half and half and a bit of sugar too. Summertime at its best. 

The rain has poured the last few days. It was so cold this morning my heat kicked on. Come on, it is July I thought. I hope it is helping in the central part of our state; where there are so many wildfires right now. So many people have lost their homes, so let it pour I say, I hope it is helping. 

thanks again for coming here,
thanks for reaching out, 
you rock my world, really! 

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

dancing in the rain. . .

“When it rains it pours. Maybe the art of life is to convert tough times to great experiences: we can choose to hate the rain or dance in it.” 
― Joan Marques

I woke around 2:00 am and could hear the rain; I could smell the freshness coming in through our open window. My first thought was that is was really raining, this was not a shower, and there was a good chance I would not have to tug the hose around our big yard and water. 

It took me awhile to get back to sleep. 

I woke again at 5:30 am to thunder and lightening; the lightning flashing across our bedroom wall as the thunder sent the dog into a frenzy. He was eager to crawl under the covers and snuggle in next to me, but readjusted himself at ever boom. I finally got up, closed out the storm and turned on the fan. 

It took us awhile to get back to sleep. 

I woke groggy; the thunder had stopped but not the rain. I made a latte, and took it into my office and went to flickr, as I do most mornings. I went right to my 52 of You Alumni group where I sat and read what these amazing woman had to say. Some days there are no new photos and other days, like today, there are several. I saw the acceptance and the strong truth they speak and the support we have for each other and for some reason I cried. And with each new photo I could feel something awaken inside of me. 

And I dug out my cane. . . and I am using it. 

I practiced and practiced on our new hardwood floors and then I needed proof, so I got out my camera. And I thought to myself, while it might slow me down on the outside, I am still the same person inside, with the same drive and the same passions. I will be patient with myself I thought, over the next several weeks. 

And suddenly I had a plan. 

I will take this time, I told myself, to do some of the things I have wanted to do for awhile now. Things I always felt I had to put on the back burner because I was too busy to sit and do them. I will watch web seminars on photography and read, and read and read and not feel guilty. I will watch movies I missed on the big screen and play with my camera. I will check out tons of books from the library on every subject I ever wanted to know about and tell myself it is okay to just look at the pictures. 

And I will use my handicap sticker to park up close and use my cane to walk between the stacks. And I will re-frame this whole hip thing to my advantage! 

amazing how just being open to goodness 
can change one's look on life. . . 
thanks for stopping by today, 

Monday, July 21, 2014

i choose to laugh. . .

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning do to do afterward.”  ~ Kurt Vonnegut 

I wake in the morning to overcast skies. The pain comes as soon as I move and I am reminded again of all I won't be able to do today. It has only been in the last few weeks that I have felt that this horrible hip, as my doctor calls it has caused me stop and think about moving about. Up until then, at least in my mind, I was able to do most the things I wanted, I just needed to be careful. 

Chronic pain messes with your entire being. It messes with your sleep and is with you every waking hour. And I feel like a baby writing about it here; mostly because I will, in six weeks or so, hopefully get some relief. I am one of the lucky ones. 

Lately it seems, I have lost my muse so to speak. I have been struggling so with my writing and my photography. Finding both a chore and not feeling that deep internal drive I have felt for so long. It made me wonder if I had lost my need; made me wonder if it was phase that was now done and over. It made me frustrated and sad. 

All kinds of things went through my head. I thought about abandoning my 365; thinking I made it to mid-year. I thought about leaving or just turning this blog off. I thought about how I could scale back; but maybe still keep something going. And then it dawned on me. . . 

It is the pain, the constant pain. It drains me and makes everything hard. It is hard to even go to the store and forget about walking the dog and if I can avoid our stairs, I do. By early evening I am dead tired and yet I wake several times a night and have to get up because it hurts. It is a cycle and it is messing with my head. 

Several years ago three little boys worked and worked on making a cable ride from one tree to another in our yard. The least of my worries was that they would get it to work. . .  But they did. They worked on it for days, then left it for a bit and came back to it a few weeks later and they got it to work. What remains of it still hangs in our yard today and when the three of them talk about it, there is still pride in their voices. 

So I have decided to take my cue from them. I will keep at it, maybe taking a bit more time off over the next six weeks or so. . . but I won't give up. And if there are days when nothing comes I will just laugh and back off for a bit and give myself some time. 
Thanks for understanding. . .

what inspires you lately? 

Sunday, July 20, 2014

week ending

“Oh", she thought, "how horrible it is that people have to grow up-and marry-and change!” 
― L.M. MontgomeryAnne of the Island

These massive beauties are climbing up our shed wall. I transplanted them a few years back and it took them awhile to really put on a show, but this year they are stunning. 

It seems like the past few months have been all about transplanting for us around here. All of us getting a fresh new start. There are still things on the east side, which need to be brought back here, but it is getting done. Real home is starting to feel like home again for all of us. 

And of course the kids; finding a home with us for a few weeks, and filling the house with blanket forts and salamanders. And now their belongings are almost gone from this space, transplanted to their new home. 

We showered these two over the weekend, the wedding is in September.  We have been friends with the grooms family forever, and growing up, he and his two brothers, who line up perfectly with my boys, were inseparable. New beginnings, young love! 

Yes, isn't she beautiful?? She is the oldest daughter of one of Justin's oldest friends JW and his beautiful wife Amy. I get lost in those eyes. She is five, just about the age Justin and her dad were when they became friends on the soccer field. The cycle continues with tons of goodness.

Every season of life brings beauty and struggles. We might neglect ourselves for a bit and find that we need to move ourselves to a better spot, with more sun, or maybe more shade. We might need to fill our space with fresh dirt and lots of water for a bit, maybe even a bit of fertilizer. . .  

And then we bloom and suddenly everything is beautiful. 

finding so much goodness is life right now, 
how about you?